There are a lot of things that have been making me feel old lately. Disclaimer: I know that I’m still far from being old. But there still is a sense of getting older, something that I’m experiencing for the first time.

So here I am, two weeks after graduating college, finally writing my thoughts on it down once and for all. One of the hardest things about feeling old for the first time is looking back, and I mean really looking back, on the past. This isn’t necessarily about hitting the huge milestone of graduating college, but more so about the changes I’ve experienced in the time in-between.

Part of getting getting older is watching things from your past change, which I’m continually learning comes in a number of forms. Whether that be watching my family friend who I held as a baby grow from a young awkward girl to a strong, beautiful college woman. Or seeing my dog grow from the most energetic dog at the park to hoping she’s running around fields in doggy heaven. Or even trading out my first car that held more memories and secrets than any journal I’ve ever written in. Some friendships take new and better form while others slip through your fingers as your young adult lives lead you in different directions.

What I’ve learned from looking back is there are moments and places and people that only last long enough for you to look back at in a fleeting moment. But then there are people and moments in your life that make your world stop as you look back at them.

People keep asking me what I want to do now that I’ve graduated college, where I see myself in 5 years or what I want my end goal to be. But is there really an end goal? Is there really a true end goal if all I want is to be able to look back when I’m old and have a million people and moments that make my world stop when I look back at them.