Living with your significant other

When you’re in a serious relationship, there will come a time when you start to think about moving in together. This is a big decision, and you should treat it exactly as that. Talk to people who know you and your significant other (SO) and listen to their opinions. But when it comes time to officially weigh in, most importantly trust yourself, and consider some of these tips as well.

How to know you’re ready:

  1. You’ve passed the honeymoon phase: This is number one on the list for a reason. In any relationship, even friendships, there’s a period of time where you’re consistently trying to be the best version of yourself. But those walls will always fall, and you will increasingly become the cranky, hangry monster you truly are. Just kidding, mostly. The point is, it’s important to feel that you and your partner know each other on a genuine, deep, and emotional level.
  2. You’ve had at least one real argument: A lot of people don’t realize that it’s actually healthy for couples to disagree. If you’ve never argued or had a ‘fight’, your relationship may not be mature enough to know if you’d make a good fit living together.
  3. You’re comfortable just having downtime together: If you expect every night to be date night, you’re not ready to move in together. Know that you can spend time reading while your SO plays video games, or know you can watch Netflix while they work on the computer. This will honestly be the majority of living together.

Remember, moving in with someone is a big commitment. While these steps are helpful, there’s no way to know if you’re completely ready. Have an open conversation with your significant other and make sure you’re both entirely on the same page.

How to prepare:

  1. Talk about your goals: 6 months, 1 year, 5 years; where do you see yourself? It’s so critical that you and your significant other don’t foresee your future going two completely different ways.
  2. Condense your belongings: coffee mugs, towels, and books, things that are good to have a lot of. TVs, couches, and wall decor, things that are bad to have a lot of. You and your SO should sort through belongings and decide what to keep and what to sell.

What to expect: 

I feel like I don’t need to say this, but I’m going to: Living with your significant other is not a rom-com montage of getting in cute kitchen fights while making pancakes. It’s dealing with real life every day together.

  1. Expect to bicker about things that have never come up before
  2. Expect a mature conversation regarding sorting out the bills once or twice a month
  3. Expect your relationship to grow

Living with someone opens up a whole new intimate space, if you think you’re ready, trust your instincts! I’ve loved every moment of figuring out this complicated life with my SO, hopefully this advice will help you do the same!